And Now

If that fucking phone beeps again, she thought, I’m going to lose it.

The tinny notes rang out a split second later, loud enough to be heard over the movie they were watching in surround sound. His hand was lightning fast as he reached out to the coffee table and grabbed his Blackberry. 

Disgusted, she threw the blanket covering her lap to the ground and walked out of the living room. 

“Babe! Come on! It’ll only take a second. I just have to…”

She heard his pleas fade and the clicking of the keys begin as he responded to whatever emergency required his immediate attention. She began emptying the dishwasher, shoving Tupperware and plates and utensils in their cabinets and drawers. 

She made sure she slammed a few, too. 

Ten minutes later the kitchen was clean and she had run out of steam. It was a battle she was tired of fighting. She had, after all, known what she was getting into when she married him. They met when she was a paralegal and he a young associate fresh out of law school. She was young and impressionable, caught up in the fancy cars, expensive lunches and high-profile clients. Marrying a lawyer seemed, at the time, romantic. And it was the only way to ensure that her future would be nothing like her past. 

Now, four years into their marriage, it was nothing like she dreamed. She quit her job as a paralegal when they got married. She had all kinds of plans to decorate their house, volunteer, focus on school, and enjoy being a housewife. For the first time her life, she didn’t have to work, and she had wanted to take full advantage of it. 

She had all the freedom and money in the world, and she was miserable. Bored, even. He was never home. He was always on that damn phone and her weekends were filled with stuffy dinners and events at the country club, where she was forced to make small talk, pretend like she cared who was fucking who at the firm, and where the other wives made it clear that all the Vera Wang dresses and Louboutin shoes couldn’t scrub the trailer park off her.

Now John wanted her to have a baby. 

Little did he know she was still on the pill. He thought that after six months of “trying” they should be concerned and have a talk with the doctor. She didn’t know how to tell him she couldn’t imagine having a baby with him. 

She walked past the office and hesitated at the door. The computer sat there, its screen a beacon in the dark room. He was on the other end. Just a few clicks and keystrokes away. Him, the one who still made her heart pound and stomach flip-flop. She could open the chat and be carried away. He… who was not her husband.

-- written by Kristina